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Is there Etiquette Concerning Sharing about our Kids on Social Media?

 

By  on September 2, 2016 

 If you’re living in the 21st century (check.), have kids (check.) and engage with others on any of the various social media platforms (check.), this is a hot topic. It’s not an issue that would have dictated a discussion a decade ago, but today with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat….oh heck yes! 

platinum rule

I’m talking about sharing stories and pictures of our beloved children on social media. I’ve written about the cost of living life on-line in a previous blog, but this blog is dedicated to our kids and what we share about them.

We are just finishing up the first week of school here in Mt. Airy, Maryland. 6AM wake-up. Not fun. Seeing all the first-day-of-school pictures on Facebook and Instagram. GREAT fun!  I love the pictures of the first day  of school, prom, graduation, new driver, sporting events and cute-babies-doing-cute-things! Since both of my daughters are in college, my 15 year old sophomore son is the unfortunate sole victim of my BTS pictures and Facebook post. A dream come true for the lucky guy.

We connect with others through sharing.  Social media gives us the opportunity to do this in a big way.

Mainstream national media has promoted stories about parents embarrassing their kids on social media. Perhaps it’s punishment for a wrong choice they made. Perhaps it’s all in good fun because as parents, we kinda like pushing their eye-rolling-buttons. These types of posts are only a small portion of the “sharing” to which I’m referring.

The parents of older kids, who have a voice and are able to articulate their thoughts on the subject, actually have it easier (yes, easier) in this case. You can ask your tweens, teens and 20 some-year-olds if they’re OK with your post. Sometimes it involves compromise, such as their pre-approval of the photo. Other times they won’t cooperate with a smile for the first day of school picture because they know you’ll be sharing it on social media, but they will humor you anyway and at least let you take the picture. Really, what teenage boy wants his picture taken? See paragraph #3 😉

What if you wish to reach out to your larger social media community to ask their advice or get a recommendation? Maybe for a doctor because of your child’s health situation that you detail out in your post. Or perhaps they are struggling with math and you need a tutor. Maybe they are having issues with a friend or teacher and you vent on-line.  Bed wetting at age 10?

Does sharing your child’s situation, not to embarrass them, but to seek advice from others, negate any ill-intent as seen through your child’s eyes?  Is it a case of TMI (too much information) when it comes to your kids and protecting their privacy as individuals?

What about sharing the parental frustrations we have with them? Oh yes. Frustration happens. Or sharing their life events like a first date, entrance into puberty via appearance of  single under-arm hair or current obsession with Pokemon Go?

This post by Elizabeth Bastos , a Baltimore-based blogger, appeared in the NY Times. Her kids were the subject of her blogs.  Until recently. Her article shares an eye-opening experience as taught to her by her dad.

I’ve been asked by parents about the etiquette around this contemporary dilemma.  Is there even etiquette? What is it?

I don’t know the answer.

What I do know about etiquette: it revolves around the Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they would want done unto them.

So to answer that question, I’d have to ask your son or daughter their thoughts. If they’re too young to thoughtfully answer, I’d need to put on their future-self shoes and wonder what kind of image of THEM am I portraying on-line? What portfolio of posts involving my children am I creating? What’s their digital legacy as cultivated by Mom or Dad?

As always, use your pause button. We all have one. Stop and think before you post. Your kids will appreciate your thoughtfulness and consideration. One day.

I would love to know what you think! Is there a certain protocol that you follow before posting about your kids?  Please comment below. Thank you!

Mind Your Manners,

Kelly 

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